Shoulda Woulda Couldas Can Motivate You !

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Well, some of you are probably now saying Huh?  Most people who consider themselves Writers have secret stashes of half finished stories, or books and articles and unfinished blog posts.  I call those my “Shoulda Woulda Couldas Stash”.  I have mine located in various locations in my office, on my computer, in my phone, in print copies, in little notebooks, in big notebooks, in binders,  in boxes, in baskets and in drawers.  I’m sure I missed some places but I think you get the gist of what I’m saying.

Recently I decided that it was time to try to organize all of my writing projects that are “works in process”. I’ll admit it is a scary thought, but I realize that years of my accumulated work is alive somewhere hidden away from not only my eyes but from the potential eyes of readers who might benefit from something I had already partially written and then, technically had hidden from everyone, even myself.

So, here’s what I’ve decided to do about it:

  • Focus on gathering all my “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” items into one location, while making an effort not to begin reading any of it until it’s all in one specific location in my office. This way I will avoid being sidetracked by one project before reviewing them all.
  • Organize it all simply into Fiction and Non-Fiction.
  • Sort each group by what currently interests me the most to the least, or not at all.
  • Intersperse  these projects into my current work as I move forward with my writing.

Hopefully, this will keep my “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” items from becoming permanent “Don’ts, Won’ts, and Can’ts”.  Words once written with thought and intent are terrible things to waste.  Who knows, maybe some of my best work has been hidden away and is just waiting to be completed?

I must admit I feel positively inspired and motivated.  If you are like me and you have your own “Shoulda, Woulda, Couldas Stash” of writing I hope I’ve inspired you, too.  If so, let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Until next time, have a warm heart but be COOL! Be happy, be well, and be the best you that you can be!

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”

Of course, information presented on this site  should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution.

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When Is Sorry Just A Word?

photo(197)How can you tell when Sorry Is Just a Word? Well it seems to me that Sorry is just a word when it’s not accompanied by actions that prove it. “I’m Sorry…” seems to be one of the most widely used expressions ever spoken; but it often rings hollow to the ears when it’s not supported with an emotional attachment to the meaning.

By definition – “I’m sorry” – is an exclamation expressing apology, used especially at the time of the misdemeanor, offense, etc. Unfortunately, it’s often said just to get the injured party not to be angry, sad, or upset, and once forgiven it’s like dust in the wind, if it’s not backed up by any solid efforts to not repeat the offensive behavior. It’s a statement of no substance, no value and no importance unless it’s supported with positive efforts not to repeat the hurtful behavior.

So what does that mean? Should a person never accept an apology? How can a person know if an apology is sincere? Is there any way to tell? Sadly, I think that would have to be based on how well you know the person, and how many times their previous apologies were proven to be sincere or insincere. Are there physical signs you can use to determine sincerity? Maybe yes… maybe no…! Tears and sadness for some are real and meaningful signs of remorse; for others who are often insincere they may just be very good acting and a means to the desired end – your forgiveness for their hurtful behavior.

In all probability, the one factor that is the most definitive “tell” or “way to tell” is if the same type of offenses are repeated over and over. Perhaps the most important related issue that matters is how many times you are willing to “forgive and forget” repetitive hurtful behavior by those who claim to care about you.

It’s not a cut and dry issue. We have been taught that “to err is human and to forgive is divine.” But there doesn’t seem to be any guidance as to how many times we should forgive and be divine before that becomes a nonsensical unrealistic statement; and when we should forgive and forget? Clearly it is a Matter of the Heart and like so like many matters of the heart you will have to look into your own mind and heart to make those determinations.

Kate Woods
I Aspire To Inspire

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Narcissist? Sociopath? Monster? Devil That You Know?

heAteMyHeartDo you know a Cheating Monster?  Perhaps a Narcissist or a Sociopath?

The lyrics to Lady Gaga’s song Monster hit  the descriptive nail right on the head – “that boy is a monster, that boy is a monster, he ate my heart,  … and then he ate my brain.” First he attacks your heart and then he somehow makes you think it was your fault.

Do you know a Cheating Monster?  Perhaps a Narcissist or a Sociopath? It seems there is an Epidemic of Cheating In Progress these days.  Cheating Monsters are men or women who claim they are in committed relationships until they choose to pretend they’re not; and men and women who think that it’s perfectly acceptable to hit on someone else’s guy or girl.

This epidemic knows no class line or culture line. It’s just comprised of a lot of people who think that irresponsible, heartless behavior is somehow acceptable. The symptoms often include being delusional and thinking that good conduct and loyal behavior are only options in a relationship. Those stricken hide behind lies and deceit and they want what they want, and they don’t give a damn how they get it and at whose expense. A perfectly appalling example would be the narcissistic  guy at the table in the restaurant with his phone on his lap, sending text messages to every girl in his contact list while his “girlfriend” sits across the table smiling and trying to make interesting conversation.

Is this an epidemic without a vaccine? What happened to love, concern, good behavior, manners, loyalty, knowing the difference between good and bad, and right and wrong? Has love and concern been replaced with manipulation and disregard? People should treat each other with respect and appreciation not with disregard and ignorance and manipulation. Perhaps the vaccine is for everyone to apply the age old advice of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.  In other words don’t do to someone else that which you would not like someone else to do to you!  Here is the Mantra everyone should repeat to themselves often:

I WILL NOT DO HURTFUL HEARTLESS THINGS
TO OTHER PEOPLE!

There are many versions of Narcissists, Sociopaths, Monsters and the Devil That You Know out there! Here are a few more examples:

  • Women who set their sights on a particular man though they are aware that man is in a committed relationship.  They will do or say whatever they think will get them the guy they want while often acting innocent, sometimes even portraying themselves as a person recently victimized and hurt who deserves to be loved. Even if they’ve been hurt, it doesn’t justify them hurting someone else. They sometimes even disguise themselves as friends of the guys girlfriend to get to talk to the guy. These women are devious pariahs who cannot be trusted. They should learn this Mantra:

I WILL NOT DO HURTFUL HEARTLESS THINGS
TO OTHER PEOPLE!

  • There are men who think nothing of cheating with several women at one time while they are professing their love to the girl who tops their list who thinks “she’s the one”. They are completely immoral and somehow can justify this by thinking this is all just a big game and that they are entitled to play it because, hey, it’s just a guy thing to run wild and free. They text, and text and text while at the same time they use phone blocking tricks and devious lies to hide their serial cheating games. They send iconic kisses, and make promises and profess undying love to every girl they meet who gives them an interested glance, while telling that one girl that “she’s the one” to be sure to always have a default girlfriend  available at all times, as needed. These guys will, in all likelihood, never be trustworthy.  They should learn this Mantra:

I WILL NOT DO HURTFUL HEARTLESS THINGS
TO OTHER PEOPLE!

So.  call a monster a monster and protect your heart and be careful who you trust! Let’s be completely realistic about this situation. If your guy or your girlfriend is playing a cheating game and can be so easily pulled away from you, they lack commitment, and loyalty and any of the characteristics that will make them stay in any relationship long term. For whatever the reason, narcissism, untreated emotional problems, addictions, etc., unfortunately, a  player will in all likelihood always be a player.  Even the guy or girl who always ultimately comes back to you every time after they cheat is still a cheating monster – he or she is just the Devil That You Know.

It’s a LOSE – LOSE situation to be a cheater and a liar whether you’re the man or the woman in any of these cheating scenarios. If you recognize YOURSELF in these descriptions you should change your evil ways. If you can’t control your negative behavior seek professional help  before the consequences begin to arrive in your life like a shadow or a ghost that you cannot get away from, because as the Law of Karma dictates  – WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. IT ALWAYS HAS AND IT ALWAYS WILL!  And let me leave you with one final bit of advice, learn and repeat this Mantra often and follow it always.

I WILL NOT DO HURTFUL HEARTLESS THINGS
TO OTHER PEOPLE!

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”

Of course, information presented on this site  should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution.

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My Way… Everyone Has Their Own Opinion

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Don’t you hate it when you, and anyone or everyone else, see something completely differently?  I know I do!  It’s frustrating because you feel like you can’t do a thing about it.  But you can… You can change the way that you react to them and their opinion.  It’s probably not really their inability to see your point of view that causes you so much distress.  It may actually be your inability to control your emotions and reactions that are causing your stress.  So if you’re stressing out about a disagreement of opinion you’re having with someone, you might want to try just accepting that you have a difference of opinion and that’s okay.  If you change not your opinion, but your reaction to their opinion, you have more control of the situation.

I know, you’re probably thinking, but I want it “My Way”.  Now to be clear, you may still feel a little bit annoyed by that fact and that you can’t make the other person see your point of view, but you deescalate the controversy and no one wins and no one loses.  After all, everyone has their own opinion. There is  something to be said for the sage wisdom of life’s truisms and one of my favorites is :

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

When you take this approach to differences of opinion, you are at least in control of your own reaction to any given situation.

Do you need some Wisdom Gone Wild for Your Inner Child?   This month I’m sharing excerpts from Ostrich, A Little Book About Dealing With Life’s Ups and Downs…  If you’d like to be sure you don’t miss any  Wisdomy Wise Words from OSTRICH – Register for my newsletter today and I’ll be happy to send them right to your email.

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”

Of course, information presented on this site should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution.

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Sunflowers, Sunshine, And Optimism

photo(224)It’s snowing here in Pennsylvania, and I was looking through my picture file for a nice winter wonderland picture to post when I found this bright, sunny, optimistic sunflower.   With another month or two of cold, wet winter weather ahead of us it felt like it was the perfect picture to share at a perfect time.  It’s hard to stay upbeat and optimistic when it seems so dismal and dreary most days in the middle of the Winter.  Don’t get me wrong, a new fallen snow covering the trees and the ground and everything you look at is an amazingly beautiful sight, but it also causes a good bit of havoc in the daily routines of coming and going, when it keeps snowing and snowing.

But not everyone lives in snowy Pennsylvania, but there are other things in peoples lives that can cause a lack of optimism that have nothing to do with the weather.   So, today, wherever you are, wherever you may be going, north, south, east or west, I’m sending this to all of you.  I hope you all enjoy this bright sunny picture, and the lyrics to this great song that so many of us have been singing since childhood!  I hope it makes you smile and think happy thoughts of Sunflowers, Sunshine and Optimism and anything else that makes you smile.

Until next time, have a warm heart but be COOL! Be happy, be well, and be the best you that you can be!

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”
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Who Defines You? You Do!

Who Defines You ???  You Do!!! AND You Can Be Amazing !!! Tell Yourself That Everyday !!! Kate Woods "I Aspire To Inspire"
Who Defines You ??? You Do !!! AND You Can Be Amazing !!! Tell Yourself That Everyday !!!! Kate Woods – “I Aspire To Inspire”

Who defines you?  I hope your answer is that You Do! Just exactly who are you? If you don’t know, maybe it’s time to figure it out.  You are the only one who can truly  define you!

Let’s consider a few facts that might help:

  • You are not your job. It is not what defines you – you define you not your job or what you do.
  • You are not your relatives or your friends. They should not define you.  They define who they are, not who you are.
  • You are not your employers, teachers or your mentors or your neighbors or co-worker one, two, or three, etc.  They do not define you. They define who they are, not who you are.

You should define who you are  – you decide what you believe and how you define yourself.  Yes – as you go through your life you will be influenced by others but even though they are influencers in your life they do not define you. You do.

Influencers are compelling forces in your life so choose wisely when you decide who you allow to influence you and your choices about who you are, who you want to be and who defines you!

The answer to that question should always be – You Do! You define You!  So go and look into your mirror and say Hello  You – and get to know yourself because who you are is who defines you and who determines who you want to be, and what you want to become.  If you don’t like who you are only you can change that. If you do like who you are then move forward being the best you that you can be. YOU really are the only one who can truly DEFINE YOU!

“Who Defines You? You Do !!! And You Can Be Amazing!
Tell Yourself That Everyday !

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”

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What’s Between Good Karma and Bad Karma? BALANCE!

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What is a state of BALANCE and how exactly do we find it? It’s that comfortable place in our lives where we feel contentment – a personal comfort zone.  I like to think of it as a sweet spot right between Bad Karma and Good Karma.

It’s true, many people have said or done something they regret and perhaps they feel that they have paid for those errors in judgment with whatever Bad Karma has intermittently descended upon them.

It is, hopefully, also true that many people have done some very fine, noble and good things and therefore feel well served by their own behavior when every now and then Good Karma finds them.

But in between the Bad Karma and the Good Karma  is normal existence, an even plane of going with the flow, making due, finding the happy and minimizing the sad moments of life. That is BALANCE.  It’s a state of waking to a feeling of comfort and falling asleep in a state of peacefulness.  Finding a state of BALANCE is sometimes about as good as it gets in a weak and weary world. Maintaining BALANCE builds strength and leads to a state of personal well-being which allows us to be the best that we can be,  and that allows us to pursue our goals with a feeling of steadiness within.

Like someone standing on a log that is floating in rapidly moving water, life requires you to move left, move right, shift your weight, change your focus, hold on tight to your balancing rod, loosen your grip – at all times move to and fro as needed to maintain your BALANCE. It’s that BALANCE, a state of inner calm and steadiness that helps to make each day an  adventure.

It’s important to realize that everyone loses their BALANCE  sometimes and falls. Falling is never fun but it is an  opportunity to regroup and to find your BALANCE within yourself, and within all of your relationships of life.

“There is no shame in falling down, the shame is in not getting back up.”
– Chinese Proverb

Kate Woods
I Aspire To Inspire

Of course, information presented on this site should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution.

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How’s Your Karma Buzz? Good? or Bad?

photo(163)KARMA  seems to be buzzing in the air everywhere these days.  How’s Your Karma Buzz? Good? or Bad?  And  what exactly is Karma?

It is explained and described in many ways.  According to Dictionary.com in Hinduism and Buddhism it  is seen as actions bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, in this life or in a reincarnated life.   This  seems to be a traditional definition of a time honored belief.

Many of us now think of Karma as a just a trendy word. While others  think of it as a BUZZ in the air  that is always present and that represents another time honored belief that “what goes around, comes around.”  

Some people think of it as fate, destiny or kismet, as “what will be, will be” –  a result of predetermined conditions and actions.

All of the definitions that seem to be trending indicate that the general consensus is that Karma is determined by  a persons actions at some time.  So a logical person who believes in Karma might want to take that fact to heart in all relationships, both business and personal.  By handling relationship issues with a positive approach that is  self-protective and open minded, you theoretically protect yourself from bad Karma befalling you at a later date, in retribution for any of your prior actions against others.  In other words by following the golden rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”  a person should earn good Karma. If you believe in Karma you will also believe that everyone will reap what they have sown and that justice will be served by it.

Karma is not only about today it’s about tomorrow too and believing that what we do today helps create the quality of our tomorrows,  and that belief in this concept will help us to always try to create better todays and tomorrows.

Kate Woods
I Aspire To Inspire

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“Sometimes Karma Needs A Little Help…”

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New Year – New Start

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Time marches on and sometimes it flies; so of course it comes as no surprise that every December 31st, a brand new year arrives.  It can be a New Year and a New Start.

Do you want to make a new start in any of your relationships of life? The beginning of a new year is a great time to make a new start. You can make a resolution to try to make a new start in your relationship with yourself, with your significant other, with your money, with your co-workers, with your living space, even with your life in general. How do you begin to make a new start? Become inspired. Inspire yourself or look to other inspirational sources for ideas. Make some resolutions. They help us change and make new starts. We state our intentions as a way to answer the question. How can I win while playing life’s daily relationship games?

Some of the common resolutions leading to new ways to jump start the year and your life’s relationships are to quit smoking, lose weight, to adopt a healthier eating plan, to be more tolerant or more forgiving of your spouse or your life partner, children and friends, to gain better control of finances, to become more organized in one or in many areas of life, such as organizing paperwork or to eliminate clutter. Some people resolve to become kinder, or nicer or more understanding and some just state their intention to become a better version of themselves – to be a better person.

Many people bypass this opportunity to make changes in their lives and their relationships by proclaiming failure before they begin. Thinking that you cannot follow through on any movement toward a new start is not a good reason not to try to make one. You may ask, why would you bother to try if you expect to fail? An expectation of failure doesn’t always result in failure. You just might surprise yourself this year; but if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Raise your opinion of yourself and your abilities. You may be capable of much more than you think. Perhaps a perfect resolution for everyone may be to resolve to have a better opinion of yourself and to believe that you can follow through and accomplish things if you set out with determination and a will to succeed. Take responsibility for your own life and your future relationships.

Here’s to New Years and New Starts that lead to brighter days and better relationships of life this year and every year!

Until next time, have a warm heart but be COOL! Be happy, be well, and be the best you that you can be!

Best Regards,

Kate Woods
I Aspire To Inspire

Of course, information presented on this site should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution

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