Are You A Priority Or An Afterthought?

It’s a safe assumption that most people like to have a priority position in the lives of people they believe they are involved with in a significant way. That being said it raises a question in my mind. Why do some people allow others to treat them as if they were just afterthoughts?

Some signs that you are not being treated as a priority might include the following:

  • When someone never makes plans in advance with you, but expects you to be available at the last minute to do whatever their little heart desires;
  • When your significant other chooses the company of his or her friends much more often than your company;
  • When others underplay special occasions in your life while always making a big deal about everything in theirs, even little  insignificant things they have going on in their lives;
  • When you actually have to remind significant others, members of your close circle of friends, or your family members that it’s your anniversary, or your birthday, or the due date of your baby, and especially if you have to deliver said reminders by text message,   because no one ever seems to want to answer their phones.

What should you do about it? Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and ask yourself these questions regarding your relationships:

  • Do I treat people with respect?
  • Do I show my appreciation to them?
  • Do I believe that treating others with mutual respect is important?

If you’re being treated as an afterthought, but you answer yes to all these questions, then maybe you prefer doing all the nice things for others in your relationships, and you don’t view that as a negative, or as being  treated as an afterthought, if others don’t reciprocate. Everyone is different and some people really do prefer consistently being the giver rather than the receiver most of the time.

People often view you as you view and project yourself!

  • How do you see yourself?
  • Do you want to be a priority?
  • Or are you more comfortable with less attention?

Hopefully, you always treat yourself as a priority; and you treat others as a priority too!  Obviously in a perfect world we all treat each other with mutual respect and  as priorities –  not as afterthoughts!

Kate Woods
“I Aspire To Inspire”

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2 thoughts on “Are You A Priority Or An Afterthought?”

  1. A lot of food for thought Kate. Everyone likes to feel like they’re important to the people they care most about. I don’t like a lot of attention being paid to me. I find it uncomfortable. I do enjoy making a fuss about others who do seem to enjoy it though. There’s a fine line though. When we do brush aside attention we run the risk of giving others the impression that we don’t matter. We need to be conscious that we do teach people how to treat us and be sure to check our own actions before becoming bitter at what others do or don’t do.

    1. Definitely a fine line. I totally agree with you that the nurturers who enjoy taking care of everyone risk having others think they never need any attention. But in reality I think most people need to feel like they are someone’s priority occasionally. I think even the movers and shakers and givers and nurturers who seem to have a handle on all things at all times need a round of applause every now and then, or as you noted a bit of bitterness can creep into their outlook.

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