Relationships Come And Relationships Go………………………
But Karma Goes On And On………………………………………..
Everybody knows that some relationships last and some don’t! Just like no one knows where the wheel of Karma stops – no one knows where, and when a relationship will end. It is comforting to know that even though relationships come and go – Karma goes on and on. That means that even though you may be going through Relationship Withdrawal you can be somewhat comforted that if someone hurt you they have a future appointment with Karma. That being said, you still have to deal with your Relationship Withdrawal.
Are you in a relationship, withdrawing from a relationship, or in between relationships? Relationship Withdrawal when a relationship ends, by choice or not, can be difficult. It dredges up all sorts of unpleasant emotions. Many people experience – anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness, relief, frustration, humiliation, agitation, jubilation, and something I call “flabbergastation” … which is being astounded and astonished that your relationship ended. Well, if you painted a picture of all the feelings and emotions involved in a relationship break-up it would probably be a complicated psychedelic mural of many colors.
Tears, and Fears and Mourning
Many people mourn for the end of a relationship in much the same way they mourn for the death of person. Perhaps that’s because it has similar loss factors. You won’t be seeing or talking to the person like you usually do. You won’t get the responses that you want to hear or any responses at all. BUT – you also will not have to suffer their discouraging words and controlling behavior traits. Of course, every relationship is different but many bad relationships have similar traits. There’s usually a giver and a taker – a relationships controller and a relationships enabler. Generally the Giver is the Enabler and the Taker is the Controller. Even though one or the other is generally unhappy, these unbalanced relationships often go on for a very long time. Why? I’m sure there are many different answers, but they can probably all be summed up by the fear of Relationship Withdrawal.
Fear of the Unknown
How many people do you know who continue to be addicted to something or someone negative in their life. Being addicted to something or someone that you know is harmful to you physically or emotionally or both usually has a common factor involved – Fear of the Unknown. Here are some examples of things that people say:
- I know smoking is bad for me but it helps me stay calm. How will I calm myself down if I quit.
- I know I should stop eating junk food but it’s my comfort food. What will I replace food with so I’m not always hyper?
- I know that Jimmy, Joe, or Bob or (substitute an appropriate name here) is not the right person for me to be with but I don’t want to be alone and he/she is better than no one. Who will replace them?
- I know that Jimmy, Joe, or Bob or (substitute an appropriate name here) is a monster and I should leave him but even though he’s a monster, he’s the monster that I know. How will I get to meet and know someone else as well that’s a better match for me?
Withdrawing from anything is hard because the reason a person is addicted to anything or anyone is usually that it fills some kind of an empty space in their life. It gives temporary comfort, or it gives the illusion that all is well in your life for at least that moment in time, even though it really isn’t. All addictions are generally temporary solutions to permanent problems. They keep you from moving forward to real solutions to finding a happier existence in your own little corner of the world.
Staying addicted to the Monster that you Know because you fear that the unknown may be worse is like looking out the window and longing to go outside but being afraid of what’s outside. It might rain, or snow, or there might be some other unexpected thing happen that you will have to face if you leave the comfortable place inside at the window. Well, here’s an important question to ask yourself, even when you hold on to the Monster that you know because you think that it is a predictable scenario – is any Monster really predictable? You are still living with the possibility of something unexpected happening that changes their behavior which changes the entire situation.
No Sugar Coating
There’s no way to sugar coat the fact that Relationship Withdrawal or any kind of withdrawal hurts. Broken Hearts and Battered Minds are painful to experience. But and here’s the big BUT – what hurts more – staying in a bad or unsatisfying relationship – or facing new challenges and possibilities? You know what you have and where you are – are you happy most of the time? Or are you sad and/or frustrated most of the time? If you move forward you may not find what you’re looking for so you may still not be happy; But and here’s another big BUT – you just might find exactly who or what you need to be happy. It’s a Gamble! Only you can choose to roll the dice or not. Unfortunately, sometimes you really have no choice but to move on. When a relationship comes to an end that you didn’t want to end, you will have to deal with Relationship Withdrawal. If you’re in still in a relationship that you think should probably be over, it is your choice to either prolong the agony, or to move forward armed with anticipation and hope that you will find what or who you’re looking for if you acknowledge that you want more than a bad relationship. Relationships are supposed to enhance your life, not make you feel like you’re alone being controlled by an addiction.
If you are dealing with Relationship Withdrawal or Withdrawal from any situation or addiction and feel desperate or in need of help you should seek reliable professional counseling. Broken Hearts and Battered Self-Esteem can feel as debilitating as any other emotional or physical condition.
Thanks for visiting my blog! Until next time have a warm heart but be COOL! Be happy, be well, and be the best you that you can be!
“I Aspire To Inspire”
….. and I’ve got a lot to say!
Subscribe To My Newsletter Here:
Of course, information presented on this site should never be relied on in lieu of professional consultation for problem resolution.
Your thoughts and comments on this post are welcome!
You never know if what you have to say is just what
someone else needs to hear… so what you share may be
an unexpected gift to another reader…